The biggest insight I gained in taking this course is that the world of education can be very scientific indeed. Most people think that early childhood education is having snack time, and putting children down for naps. Not so! It can be technical, scientific, and make huge differences in the world of research. That has been the biggest way my thinking has been modified from this course.
The critical scientific thinking was the biggest challenge for me in this course. It was a huge shift in thinking for me, and one I am not sure I successfully made. This course will help me with behavioral analysis within my classroom in the future. This course will help by enabling me to critically look at problems and to develop scientific ways to solve them through studies.
I am excited to apply my new found knowledge to my classroom. This course will continue to benefit me for years to come.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
International Early Childhod Research
The site I examined was Early Childhood Australia website: http://www.earlychildhoodaustralia.org.au/qias_qa_support/family_day_care_quality_assurance/family_day_care_quality_area_3_childrens_experiences_learning_and_development.html
It is very similar to the NAECY website, as it has many resources for professionals and for parents. The resources include: the latest early childhood research, political lobbying, early childhood development standards, and professional standards.
The Early Childhood Australia site had a standard that was interesting to me:
"Carers and coordination unit staff promote physical competence in all children"
I think that sometimes in the United States physical development is sacrificed for results in cognitive development. Physical development should be an intricate part of the whole development of the child. In many ways, the United States is similar to Australia's stance on early childhood education. This is one area where I feel Australia may be more progressive.
It is very similar to the NAECY website, as it has many resources for professionals and for parents. The resources include: the latest early childhood research, political lobbying, early childhood development standards, and professional standards.
The Early Childhood Australia site had a standard that was interesting to me:
"Carers and coordination unit staff promote physical competence in all children"
I think that sometimes in the United States physical development is sacrificed for results in cognitive development. Physical development should be an intricate part of the whole development of the child. In many ways, the United States is similar to Australia's stance on early childhood education. This is one area where I feel Australia may be more progressive.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
My Dream Study
For my research project, I would focus on the effects of diet on AD/HD. Having no restrains in reality, I would work with a hospital that has a developmental clinic. My research would get an initial baseline of behavior at home and at school. I would interview parents during the intake process. The parents and the research team would then complete a food journal during the home visit. Taking note of processed, artificial and other notable ingredients in foods that may aggravate the child’s condition. Then my research team and I would put the children who qualified for an AD/HD diagnosis would put the family on a strict food plan. The plan would give explicate instructions on what the family can eat. No processed food, limited sugar intake, and no dyed foods will be available. A blood test would be taken to see reactions to dairy and gluten as well. The study will last 6 months, noting weekly behavioral changes and studying the food journal in case tweaks to the food plan need to be made.
This study could have an extraordinary impact on the well-being of children. It could revolutionize the way AD/HD is treated; families would have definitive choices placed before them. There could be another option besides pharmaceutical treatments.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
My Research Journey
The topic I choose for the research simulation is the effects of poverty on early childhood education. I choose this topic because I see poverty in my classroom every day. One day a student comes to school hungry. The next day I had a student evicted from his house. The students I teach all have autism; nearly all of them are nonverbal. The upheaval in their lives would affect a typical child negatively. I can only imagine the turmoil that my students are going through.
I have only just begun researching this topic for my chart. One resource I have found is the Harvard University (2011) Global Children’s Initiative: http://developingchild.harvard.edu/initiatives/global_initiative
This site has many interesting articles on the effects of stressful situations such as poverty on young children. I would love to have any input that you my colleagues could share with me!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Consequences of International Contacts
Four consequences of learning about the international early childhood field are:
1. Learn about trends in the international field of early childhood education.
2. Learn about what works and does not work in the field in other countries.
3. Learn from countries that are ahead of the United States in education.
4. Finally, create professional contacts so as to share information about early childhood education.
My goal for international awareness is to continue to try and get an international pen pal. Even though this assignment is over, I would still like to make a professional contact in which to share information with.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Early Childhood Care and Education
Unfortunately, I did not receive a response from my international contacts.
So I thoroughly examined the United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) website to learn more about international early childhood educational practices.
The first new insight I gained is that education is a privilege not a right in many countries. Only the children of wealthy people are able to go to school, while the poorest children must work to help their family. It is a horrific cycle that seems to have no end.
The second insight I gained is that developing governments have difficulties dealing with early childhood in a holistic manner. Instead, early childhood education is placed within many different sectors of the government such as health and services. It is also difficult for growing governments to coordinate early childhood schools in the private and public sectors, so there is no constancy between the two.
The final insight I gained from the website is in the area of literacy. The UNESCO website states that one in five adults are illiterate, with 2/3 of those ratio women. Also 67.4 million children are not in school. With numbers that staggering, it makes me wonder what can be done to change this abysmal trend.
Source -
http://www.unesco.org/new/en/education/themes/strengthening-education-systems/early-childhood/access/
Source -
http://www.unesco.org/new/en/education/themes/strengthening-education-systems/early-childhood/access/
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Sharing Web Resources
One link in the NACCRRA website that caught my interest was the picture of the nation that allows you to type in your zip code to search for child care resources and referral agencies. Being from a small populated state, I was not expecting to find any resources.
Happily I was mistaken! There is one site in the town I live where people can look for child care.
1111 E. Lincolnway, Suite 116
Cheyenne, WY, 82001
Phone: 307-638-2091
E-mail: cheyenneccf@wyoming.com
This is an excellent resource for me as a professional. Often parents ask me what the best child care centers in town. I have limited knowledge of daycares since I never used one personally. Now I have a resource to help parents find affordable, quality daycare.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Children's Global Initiative
The Center on the Developing Child website by Harvard University is an extensive and impressive source for early childhood information. The many topics investigated on the website include: Science of Early Childhood, Understanding Intervention, Innovation, Global Child Development, and Foundation of Lifelong Health. The most interesting topic to me is the Science of Early Childhood. One topic included in this is the body’s response to toxic stress. There are three different types of stress that the body reacts to; positive, tolerable and toxic. Harvard research has found that prolonged exposure to toxic stress, such as physical or emotional abuse, chronic neglect, caregiver substance abuse or mental illness, exposure to violence, and/or the accumulated burdens of family economic hardship, can have a lasting impact on a developing body (Harvard, 2011). The more toxic stress a child encounters the better the chances are that the child will experience developmental delays and health problems as an adult.
Another topic of interest is Understanding Intervention. This part of the website is dedicated to explaining how and why the research of early childhood can help predict successful outcomes of childhood. Understanding Intervention also shows the benefits of early intervention, the practices that are successful at this age, and adds to the research that supports early intervention.
The final topic that interested me is the section on Global Child Development. Harvard is using their research to better early childhood outcomes around the world. Although there is still a great need for funding and awareness, Harvard’s research is showing countries around the world how secure a better future for children by beginning intervention at an early age. This information sharing will help bring equality and excellence to children around the world. I will be looking to this website for professional research in the years to come.
Harvard University (2011) Global Children’s Initiative Retrieved from http://developingchild.harvard.edu/initiatives/global_initiative
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Current Topics
One current topic that the NACCRRA (National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies) has recently cover that interests me is the cost of quality child-care. The report for example, covers where are the most and least expensive states in the nation for quality child care.
The 10 least-affordable states for full-time infant care in a center in 2010 were Massachusetts, New York, Hawaii, Colorado, Minnesota, the District of Columbia, Oregon, Illinois, Montana and Pennsylvania (naccrra, 2011).
The 10 least-affordable states for full-time care for a 4-year-old in a center in 2010 were New York, Montana, Massachusetts, Wisconsin, Minnesota, the District of Columbia, Oregon, Vermont, Colorado and Maine (naccrra, 2011).
The report also states that it costs the average two income family 10% of their income to have high-quality child care. As a person who does not use child-care, this amount surprised me. It should not cost so much of your salary to ensure your child is receiving proper child care. This interests me as a professional because the NACCRRA will use this report to lobby congress for affordable child care for all parents, not just the wealthy.
Resource -
NACCRRA (2011) Parents and the High Cost of Child Care: 2011 Update Retrieved from http://www.naccrra.org/publications/naccrra-publications/parents-and-high-cost-of-child-care-2011.php
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Insights Into Poverty
I have yet to receive a response on my correspondence, so I am going to share the insights I have learned from:
http://www.childhoodpoverty.org/
1. The effects of malnutrition can last into adulthood causing life long learning difficulties and health problems.
2. An estimated 1 in 4 children worldwide live in absolute poverty. 10 million children die each year from diseases that could be prevented. Children are the most vulnerable when it comes to poverty.
3. Poverty can last for generations, passed on from parent to child, affecting society, the well being of families, and affecting long term health. To erase poverty and malnutrition, it must begin with children.
The facts were eye opening to me. It is easy to just keep focused on what is happening in your own town, but when you see the worldwide facts, it is startling. These insights will help me grow as a person and as a professional. Once made aware, a problem can no longer be ignored.
http://www.childhoodpoverty.org/
1. The effects of malnutrition can last into adulthood causing life long learning difficulties and health problems.
2. An estimated 1 in 4 children worldwide live in absolute poverty. 10 million children die each year from diseases that could be prevented. Children are the most vulnerable when it comes to poverty.
3. Poverty can last for generations, passed on from parent to child, affecting society, the well being of families, and affecting long term health. To erase poverty and malnutrition, it must begin with children.
The facts were eye opening to me. It is easy to just keep focused on what is happening in your own town, but when you see the worldwide facts, it is startling. These insights will help me grow as a person and as a professional. Once made aware, a problem can no longer be ignored.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
The website - http://www.naccrra.org/
The link to the NACCRRA Newsletter - http://capwiz.com/naccrra/mlm/signup/
The site I choose to follow is the NACCRA. The National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies works with several hundred public child care agencies to ensure families can find and afford quality child care. To achieve this, the NACCRA offers trains, resources and best practice standards to child care professionals. The NACCRA do research and collect data on current trends in child care, and they offer free information for parents looking for affordable childcare.
The NACCRRA Newsletter follows any and all issues that affect childcare. The issue that caught my eye in a recent is the issue of State Background checks for licenced child care workers. Apparently it is not always required in all stated for child care workers to have a background check done, and the states that do require it have laws that widely vary. The NACCRRA is lobbying congress to make it mandatory for anyone working with children to have a background check done. I had no idea that this was still an issue in this day and age. I was happy to read that the NACCRA is lobbying for safety in childcare.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Website
The website I will be following is the National Association of Child Care Resources and Referral Agencies. This site keeps professionals up to date on all matters that affect child care and early childhood education. I think this will be an invaluable tool for me as I am usually too busy to watch the news, but I regularly check my e-mail!
Professional Pen Pals
To contact professionals around the world, I used the the Global Alliance of NAEYC website. I focused on English speaking countries because I do not know any other languages well enough for corespondence!
The four people I contacted were:
NetherlandsInternational Step by Step Association
Sarah Klaus
Email: sklaus@issa.nl
Canada
Canadian Child Care Federation
Yvonne Dionne
Email: ydionne@cccf-fcsge.ca
Ireland
OMEP Irish National Committee
Nippa - the Early Childhood Organization
Siobhan Fitzpatrick
Email: siobhanf@nippa.org
China – Hong Kong
OMEP National Committee for Hong Kong
Pacific Early Childhood Education Research Association
Dr. Betty Chan Po-king
20 Somerset Rd. Kowloon Tong, Kowloon
Hong Kong
Tel: 852-23396005
Email: sannas@ycef.com
I started this project on Wednesday, and so far I have recieved a return mail saying that Yvonne's (from Canada) e-mail was closed. I am still hopeful that I will recieve an e-mail back from one of these professionals to further my understand international customs regardig early childhood education.
The four people I contacted were:
NetherlandsInternational Step by Step Association
Sarah Klaus
Email: sklaus@issa.nl
Canada
Canadian Child Care Federation
Yvonne Dionne
Email: ydionne@cccf-fcsge.ca
Ireland
OMEP Irish National Committee
Nippa - the Early Childhood Organization
Siobhan Fitzpatrick
Email: siobhanf@nippa.org
China – Hong Kong
OMEP National Committee for Hong Kong
Pacific Early Childhood Education Research Association
Dr. Betty Chan Po-king
20 Somerset Rd. Kowloon Tong, Kowloon
Hong Kong
Tel: 852-23396005
Email: sannas@ycef.com
I started this project on Wednesday, and so far I have recieved a return mail saying that Yvonne's (from Canada) e-mail was closed. I am still hopeful that I will recieve an e-mail back from one of these professionals to further my understand international customs regardig early childhood education.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
New Supports
The daily factors that are supportive to me are my family and colleagues. My family are a source of love and affection. They help keep my mind off of work when I am home, and they help keep me focused at work as well; they help to remind me what I am working for.
My colleagues are a source of support as well. We work as a team to encourage and support each other. We often have experiences together that we can not share with our family members because of confidentiality. We can discuss difficult issues, and try to come to some resolution.
These supports are essential to me. I could not imagine doing my job without having my supports in place. If I did not have these supports in place, I would be directionless, I would be like a sailboat without a sail, floundering in the deep seas of the educational system.
My supports are in place so they can help me through my day. I hope I am as supportive to my friends and family as there are to me.
My colleagues are a source of support as well. We work as a team to encourage and support each other. We often have experiences together that we can not share with our family members because of confidentiality. We can discuss difficult issues, and try to come to some resolution.
These supports are essential to me. I could not imagine doing my job without having my supports in place. If I did not have these supports in place, I would be directionless, I would be like a sailboat without a sail, floundering in the deep seas of the educational system.
My supports are in place so they can help me through my day. I hope I am as supportive to my friends and family as there are to me.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
My Connections to Play
Quotes that summarize what play meant to my childhood:
A friend of mine posted this on facebook and it really summarized my childhood as well:
A friend of mine posted this on facebook and it really summarized my childhood as well:
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Relationship Reflections
Relationships are extremely important to me. My family is the most precious relationship I have. I have three sons and a husband who are my world. I also have deep friendships with several girls. Here is a list of a few of them and how that friendship developed:
Stephanie - Steph is my younger sister. She and I were not always best friends, as a matter of fact we could not stand each other for many years (My theory is that we were too much alike in some ways). Through our parents growing old and becoming elderly and becoming parents ourselves, we have come to be best friends. We talk every day, usually about nothing in particular. Our children love each other very much, and even though we live 8 hours away we try to see each other as much as possible.
Larissa - Larissa and I met in the 9th grade (22 years ago!) when she moved to Wyoming from Tulsa. We went through high school, college, our professional lives, our marriages, and eventually having children together. The support and love we have for each other has spanned decades.
Cat - Cat married one of my best friends from college. We were not instantly close. My high school friends and I have a close knit group, and while we are not mean or malicious, we do not let outsiders in easily. Cat and her husband lived far away for the first part of their marriage, but four years ago they moved back to Wyoming. We started to see each other more, and eventually a close friendship has been forged. We are very different woman. Cat is has a type A personality where I am more laid back in my personal life. I think we compliment each other well.
These relationships have sustained me through good times and bad. Since my parents are sick and elderly they are not able to give me the support I need, so I must find it in other areas. I thank God everyday for my friends!
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Some of my friends and me at a U2 concert this summer!
Stephanie - Steph is my younger sister. She and I were not always best friends, as a matter of fact we could not stand each other for many years (My theory is that we were too much alike in some ways). Through our parents growing old and becoming elderly and becoming parents ourselves, we have come to be best friends. We talk every day, usually about nothing in particular. Our children love each other very much, and even though we live 8 hours away we try to see each other as much as possible.
Larissa - Larissa and I met in the 9th grade (22 years ago!) when she moved to Wyoming from Tulsa. We went through high school, college, our professional lives, our marriages, and eventually having children together. The support and love we have for each other has spanned decades.
Cat - Cat married one of my best friends from college. We were not instantly close. My high school friends and I have a close knit group, and while we are not mean or malicious, we do not let outsiders in easily. Cat and her husband lived far away for the first part of their marriage, but four years ago they moved back to Wyoming. We started to see each other more, and eventually a close friendship has been forged. We are very different woman. Cat is has a type A personality where I am more laid back in my personal life. I think we compliment each other well.
These relationships have sustained me through good times and bad. Since my parents are sick and elderly they are not able to give me the support I need, so I must find it in other areas. I thank God everyday for my friends!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Favorite Quotes About Children
If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much.
- Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.
- Elizabeth Stone
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
- Theodore Hesburgh
- Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.
- Elizabeth Stone
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
- Theodore Hesburgh
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Considering the Whole Child
In viewing a young child holistically, there are several areas that I think need to be measured when assessing the young child. The areas that I think should be measured are physical, social/emotional, language and cognitive development, and economic conditions.
Physical, social/emotional, language and cognitive development are areas that are examined in most standardized tests. They measure the child’s development individually. I believe outside sources also affect a child’s development. Knowing the economic conditions child is living in would be help in considering a child as a whole. A child who comes to school hungry has more difficult time learning than a child who has had breakfast. UNICEF states, “Evidence from pediatrics, psychology, nutrition, child development and anthropology tells us that survival, growth, and development are inter-linked; each depends to some extent on the others (UNICEF, 2006).”
In the UK and Australia, they use an assessment called Early Years Learning Framework.
The EYLF:
◆◆ outlines the kinds of environments in which children’s learning is facilitated
◆◆ highlights the desirable knowledge, skills and attitudes held by early childhood educators
◆◆ addresses ways children’s learning opportunities may be enhanced.
The goal is to provide children’s learning experiences through purposeful actions by
educators in collaboration with children and families. The early learning environments the
Framework applies to services that cater for children in the birth to five age group,
such as preschools, kindergartens, family day care, home-based care, occasional care,
playgroups and long day care (Goodfellow, 2009). This would be a very good assessment for the
USA because it considers many factors when teaching young children.
Sources –
Goodfellow, J. (2009) The Early Years Learning Framework Getting Started. Retrieved from http://synarbor.com.au/images/What_is_the_EYLF.pdf on June 9, 2011
UNICEF (2006) Programming Experiences In Early Childhood. Retrieved from http://www.unicef.org/earlychildhood/files/programming%20experiences%20in%20early%20childhood.pdf. on June 9, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Stressors
As a teacher, one of the biggest stressors I see to my students is poverty. Last year I was in typical classroom where I had a student who only wanted socks for his birthday. It was the most heartbreaking conversation I had ever had. The child came in everyday smelling like cigarettes, but his parents never realized their child needed socks.
This year I work with children with autism. All of the children I work with are nonverbal. I have one child who comes in everyday dirty and hungry. He displays his hunger through crying and throwing toys across the room. Once he is fed, we can resume teaching him. So when he comes in our classroom, the first thing he gets every morning is a bowl of cereal and milk. We as teachers often have to help compensate for the stressor in our students lives.
I researched the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, Haiti. Haiti suffered a devastating earthquake over a year ago. While many see no hope in Haiti, one aid program is helping people get back on their feet by giving them training and jobs. Through this program the people who benefit are the children. The adults who are trained and provided jobs must feed their children at least two hot meals a day and their children must be enrolled in school. This program is not merely a hand out; it teaches pride, a trade, and parenting skills.
Source –
Kristof, N. (2011) Ladders for the Poor. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/06/opinion/06kristof.html on May 26, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Early Childhood Education Around the World
I think one topic that needs to be added to the list of public health measures that impact a child’s development is early childhood education. Obviously this is important topic to me because I am studying early childhood education and I work in the early childhood education field.
I found some significant information about early childhood education from around the world. According to the OEDC (Organization for Economic Co-Operation and Development), governments around the world are realizing the importance of investing in a quality system of early childhood education. Most countries the OECD reviews make at least two years of free early childhood education a priority. Many countries make early childhood education a legal right. Countries such as Denmark, Finland and Sweden begin early childhood education at the age of 1. Belgium begins their program at the age of 2.5, and Italy begins their program at the age of 3. China children begin their three years of kindergarten at the age of 3.
The United States does not have a formal early childhood education system. Head Start is the only early childhood educational system that receives federal funding and only children who live below the poverty level qualify to attend. According to the OEDC only 36% of children who qualified for Head Start Services actually received services. For these reasons, early childhood education needs to become a priority in the United States.
Here are the links to my sources:
Saturday, May 7, 2011
The Story of Riley's Birth
I am the mother of three sons, and each of their births was as different as night and day. The birth of my second son is the birth story I am going to share. It was a perfect birth, no complications and a very easy recovery. I needed to be induced because my children saw no need to rush themselves out of my womb. They were very comfortable in there thank you very much!
I was in labor for seven hours, gave one push and Riley Jennings arrived. He was absolutely perfect and weighed in at 8lbs. 6oz, which also happened to be his birthdate 8/06/02. I was in the hospital for a total of 22 hours. Even though I had no complications, I was anxious and nervous to go home. I was anxious to go home because I had a two year old waiting for me, but I was nervous because I had spent so little time in the hospital.
I researched how other countries in the world give birth, and to my surprise, 22 hours is a long time to be in the hospital in some counties. In the Netherlands, for example, moms do not see a doctor unless they have complications they see a midwife instead. They have the option to give birth at home or in the hospital. Even if they choose the hospital, they may not have a doctor. Moms in the Netherlands may not have any painkillers either. It is only offered if it is convenient for the anesthesiologist (Shalken, 2011).
If the mother has given birth in a hospital, and there are no complications, mom and baby may be released within 2 hours of giving birth! I know I was not ready to move 2 hours after giving birth! The Netherlands has a program that gives all mothers daily nursing care for a week after giving birth. The nurses make sure that there are no complications with the baby or the mother, the nurses also clean, cook and do laundry for the moms (Shalken, 2011). I would have loved to have that service!
There are several differences between the Netherlands and the United States. I think one could take away positive experiences from either country.
Source –
Shalken, L. (2011) Birth Customs Around the World. Retrieved from http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/giving-birth/vaginal/birth-customs-around-the-world/?page=2 on May 5, 2011.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Last Week!
It's our last week of class. We are that much closer to our goals. Good Luck to everyone! I ahve enjoyed being in class with you!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Ethical Guidelines
Section 1 - Ethical Responsibilities to Children
I - 1.9 - To advocate for and ensure that all children,As early childhood educators, it is important for us to be advocators for our students. Especially those whose parents may not have the skills or abilities to advocate for them.
Principles -
P-1.1—Above all, we shall not harm children. We shall
not participate in practices that are emotionally
damaging, physically harmful, disrespectful, degrading,
dangerous, exploitative, or intimidating to
children. This principle has precedence over all.
others in this CodeThis ideal should go without saying. It is an ideal that should be ingrained in all educators.
Section II - Ethical Responsibilities to FamiliesI-2.3
them to participate in the program.
I chose this ideal to remind myself to be welcoming to every parent and caretaker that I come in contact with. Sometimes it is difficult, or I may not agree with a family’s lifestyle. I know it is not my place to judge and I must be inclusive to all within my program.
—To welcome all family members and encourage
including those with special needs, have access to the
support services needed to be successful.
I - 1.9 - To advocate for and ensure that all children,As early childhood educators, it is important for us to be advocators for our students. Especially those whose parents may not have the skills or abilities to advocate for them.
Principles -
P-1.1—Above all, we shall not harm children. We shall
not participate in practices that are emotionally
damaging, physically harmful, disrespectful, degrading,
dangerous, exploitative, or intimidating to
children. This principle has precedence over all.
others in this CodeThis ideal should go without saying. It is an ideal that should be ingrained in all educators.
Section II - Ethical Responsibilities to FamiliesI-2.3
them to participate in the program.
I chose this ideal to remind myself to be welcoming to every parent and caretaker that I come in contact with. Sometimes it is difficult, or I may not agree with a family’s lifestyle. I know it is not my place to judge and I must be inclusive to all within my program.
—To welcome all family members and encourage
including those with special needs, have access to the
support services needed to be successful.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Early Childhood Studies Course Resources
Here are some early childhood resources that everyone should know about:
- NAEYC. (2009). Developmentally appropriate practice in early childhood programs serving children from birth through age 8. Retrieved May 26, 2010, from http://sylvan.live.ecollege.com/ec/courses/56611/CRS-CW-4955232/educ6005_readings/naeyc_dap_position_statement.pdf
- NAEYC. (2009). Where we stand on child abuse prevention. Retrieved May 26, 2010, from http://www.naeyc.org/files/naeyc/file/positions/ChildAbuseStand.pdf
- NAEYC. (2009). Where we stand on school readiness. Retrieved May 26, 2010, from http://www.naeyc.org/files/naeyc/file/positions/Readiness.pdf
- NAEYC. (2009). Where we stand on responding to linguistic and cultural diversity. Retrieved May 26, 2010, from http://www.naeyc.org/files/naeyc/file/positions/diversity.pdf
- NAEYC. (2003). Early childhood curriculum, assessment, and program evaluation: Building an effective, accountable system in programs for children birth through age 8. Retrieved May 26, 2010, from http://www.naeyc.org/files/naeyc/file/positions/pscape.pdf
- NAEYC. (2009, April). Early childhood inclusion: A summary. Retrieved May 26, 2010, from http://www.naeyc.org/files/naeyc/file/positions/DEC_NAEYC_ECSummary_A.pdf
- Zero to Three: National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families. (2010). Infant-toddler policy agenda. Retrieved May 26, 2010, from http://www.zerotothree.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ter_pub_infanttodller
- FPG Child Development Institute. (2006, September). Evidence-based practice empowers early childhood professionals and families. (FPG Snapshot, No. 33). Retrieved May 26, 2010, from http://www.fpg.unc.edu/~snapshots/snap33.pdf
Note: The following article can be found in the Walden University Library databases.
- Turnbull, A., Zuna, N., Hong, J. Y., Hu, X., Kyzar, K., Obremski, S., et al. (2010). Knowledge-to-action guides. Teaching Exceptional Children, 42(3), 42–53.
Use the Academic Search Complete database, and search using the article's title.
- Article: UNICEF (n.d.). Fact sheet: A summary of the rights under the Convention on the Rights of the Child. Retrieved May 26, 2010, from http://www.unicef.org/crc/files/Rights_overview.pdf
- Websites:
- World Forum Foundation
http://www.worldforumfoundation.org/wf/about.php
This link connects you to the mission statement of this organization. Make sure to watch the video on this webpage
- World Organization for Early Childhood Education
http://www.omep-usnc.org/
Read about OMEP’s mission.
- Association for Childhood Education International
http://acei.org/about/
Click on “Mission/Vision” and “Guiding Principles and Beliefs” and read these statements.
- World Forum Foundation
- National Association for the Education of Young Children
http://www.naeyc.org/
- The Division for Early Childhood
http://www.dec-sped.org/
- Zero to Three: National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families
http://www.zerotothree.org/
- WESTED
http://www.wested.org/cs/we/print/docs/we/home.htm
- Harvard Education Letter
http://www.hepg.org/hel/topic/85
- FPG Child Development Institute
http://www.fpg.unc.edu/main/about.cfm
- Administration for Children and Families Headstart’s National Research Conference
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/opre/hsrc/
- HighScope
http://www.highscope.org/
- Children’s Defense Fund
http://www.childrensdefense.org/
- Center for Child Care Workforce
http://www.ccw.org/
- Council for Exceptional Children
http://www.cec.sped.org//AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home
- Institute for Women’s Policy Research
http://www.iwpr.org/index.cfm
- National Center for Research on Early Childhood Education
http://www.ncrece.org/wordpress/
- National Child Care Association
http://www.nccanet.org/
- National Institute for Early Education Research
http://nieer.org/
- Pre[K]Now
http://www.preknow.org/
- Voices for America’s Children
http://www.voices.org/
- The Erikson Institute
http://www.erikson.edu/
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Passion for Education Quotes
" No one can do this alone, - several brains are better than one!"
- Dr. Lovaas
"The passion to create a safer and more just world for children is there and I suppose will be there until I die."
- Louise Derman-Sparks
- Dr. Lovaas
"The passion to create a safer and more just world for children is there and I suppose will be there until I die."
- Louise Derman-Sparks
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Personal Childhood Web
The people who nurtured me and cared about me when I was a child were:
My Mother - Always wanted me to strive to be the be I could be.
My Father - Encouraged me to do activities outside my comfort zone.
My Sister - My best friend in the world. She was my sounding board and the biggest support in my life.
Jane Johnson - My Youth Minister - Helped me to find my way in life during critical periods in my life.
Sheryl Van Pelt - My English teacher - Made me feel excited about learning.
These influences continue in my life today. My parents continue to be proud of my professional accomplishments.
My sister is one of my biggest sources of support and comfort in my life.
I often think back on the lessons Jane taught me growing up. Be empathetic, be kind, treat others as you would want to be treated.
My lifelong love of learning continues today because of Sheryl Van Pelt, and I am very grateful to her.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
A Story about a child that has touched my heart.
My husband also writes a blog. He recently wrote a blog about our son with autism who had to watch a puberty movie at school. Needless to say it is very close to my heart. It is long, but very funny if I do say so myself!
Please tell me you are not talking about Mr.Doodlesworth?
This blog entry is brought to you by the words:
Shocking.
Scandalous.
Salacious.
Startling.
Taboo. Surprising.
&
Unsettling.
The moment I am going to describe to you is going to be one that I am certain I will be forced to relive over and over again in my windowless "reflection room" in purgatory. At my wake when my three boys gather round to share their favorite dad story they will inevitably will come across this gem of a memory I will share. It will be forever known as "The Day Of 1000 Gasps" by my children or perhaps they will dub it as "The Moment We Saw Our Father Soil Himself Right In Front Of Us. Which Caused Us All To Have Intensive Therapy To Help Get Over Our 'Daddy Issues' That He Created With His Inability To Manage His Bladder During Important Moments". I kind of hope they name it the first one, it sounds more dramatic and less judgemental. Either way I will be serving my afterlife time-out so I guess it wouldn't matter much to me...but I am concerned that my wife would rather them not refer to their pops as a fellow who found himself leaky during crisis. In truth I have a feeling that the event I am going to describe for you was one my children did not even notice how much I failed them.So on with what happened...
If you have been reading my blog for a while (by "a while" I mean this one) you have probably garnered the fact that I am not the most together dude who walks the Earth. I am not the guy you turn to in a moment of panic. Like if you were getting mugged I would be the worst person to try in and intercede on your behalf. Not because I wouldn't want to, because I would. I really would. It's just that I would freak out because when I get any adrenaline in my system I am a trainwreck. In my preparations to take on your assailant I would probably need to run home and grab my Ipod so I could have some inspirational music to listen to while I was stretching. Before you ask, yes I need to stretch before getting into a fight with your mugger. Don't get all self-righteous I am not naturally limber. It is the curse of being built like R2-D2. I would need to loosen the joints before throwing fists with your attacker. Which would make me really nervous so I would need a glass of wine to calm my nerves. Just enough to help slow things down a bit...but not too much that it would impede my ability to introduce my two fists (which I have long ago named them. The right fist is named "Cagney" and the left one is named "Lacey". They are two crime-stopping bundles of knuckles who would take their enemies on with determination, a lady-mullet, and the force of a misunderstood female detective just trying to make it in a man's world) to the person mugging you.
I am guessing by the time I was ready to take on the person who was ganking you it would probably be too late and somehow you would be holding me to blame for what happened. We would try to remain friends after this event, but you would eventually call me out in front of a group of our shared friends that I was "a coward" and I would retort with the comeback "Hey don't blame me you dirty Jackwagon! Even Clubber Lang needed to stretch before taking the belt from Balboa in Rocky 3." And then you would say "You are a wuss and are only concerned about yourself." And then I would say "Oh yeah? Don't make me unleash a thunderstorm of Cagney and Lacey on your ass!" And then everyone (including you) would laugh me out of the room. And that would be the last you would see me at our Poetry Slam meetings.
Anyways, you can be assured that when it comes to moments where either decisive action or the perfect words are required I am not well equipped. If I lived on the Island Of Idiots I would be the mayor of them all. If one of my idiot citizens did not know the proper idiot reaction they needed to have to help maintain their residency on our island they would come to me to learn how to better their skills.
Part of the problem with parenting is that you never know when those moments where you need to step up and make good decisions are coming. Those moments never make appointments in your calender. They just show up like the guy selling magazines who needs you to buy $400 worth so he can finally go to college. Those moments where much is required of parents randomly arrive with a rose in one hand and a machete in the other. They are those moments that can help make or break you with your children.
I had one the other day. I did not rise to meet it well. While I don't think my son caught on to the fact that I was disarmed by what was happening, I am certain I let one of those rare "teaching moments" slip by like a leaf in a stream. I let my own crap interfere with what I should have said. Instead I continued the circle of crap that I probably learned at their age from my folks who I am certain would have handled the situation the exact same way.
By now you probably just want to know what in the name of the dead animal on Trumps head happened?
Well...it began with...The P word. Yep. That's right. I don't know where it came from. I was not prepared for it to be uttered. I was minding my own business opening up the door to let my children into the house after I picked them up from school. Everything was going so well. The sun was shining down on us in a manner that suggested it had 'Super-Nova'd just for us a few billion years ago. There was no Wyoming wind blasting us in the face as we walked up to our house. I was simply just thinking about how awesome it was to be a father of such three innocent and peaceful little children. Three children who want nothing other than their father to remain in the constant state of balance and harmony that his weakened constitution requires. I had just cracked open the door to our townhome when I asked my boys how their day being a functional member of the education system went.
I was expecting to hear about spelling bee's, rumpus games of tag, milk coming out of the nose incidents in the lunchroom, and other such slices of my childrens day that I could digest in my fathery soul. Maybe I would get some good gradeschool gossip and hear about someone who was sent to the principals office or an account about how one of their classmates puked it out in front of the class. Those stories always warmed my heart. Mostly because it was always usually about someone else's child. And when anyone else's child was the source of controversy I thought of it as comforting.
I loved it when my children recounted the events of the day. It helped me feel connected to their experience. What I heard come out of my ten years mouth though has changed my desire to be included on "what haps" at Sunrise Elementary.
I simply asked Noah as my door opened to our home "So what did you learn about today Noah?"
"Oh nothing" he said quickly. That was his typical answer and I knew better than to let him off of the hook. As a wise father of a child living with autism I have been trained that it takes a few times digging with a question before you can get to the top soil of truth.
"Come on. I am sure you learned something."
"Well...I did learn about one thing..." His voice trailed off. I was sure he was going to finish that sentence with something like "Volcano's" "George Washington" or maybe even "The Louisiana Purchase". Instead I was giving a slap in the face with a glove that had been stuffed with barbed-wire and a brick.
"I learned about the Penis." He said with an outrageously disinterested tone of voice.
The word deeply echoed in my ears....
Penis.....
Penis.........
The........Penis.....
P......enis.............
Penis....s......s.....sssssssss
This was one of those moments that called for a father of decisive action who could choose the right words....
The next thing I knew I was seperated from my body. I was floating about ten feet above looking down on my body which was gripping the door to keep from collapsing onto the ground. As my soul hovered above it looked like time was moving in slow motion. I could see the look of abject horror plastered across my face. It looked like I had been just been shot by a sniper. It was the kind of look a person has when they are trying to decide to just let their heart explode like the death star and take their karmic chances in the next world.
Floating there it took me a moment to remember what was causing me to have an out of body experience. Then slowly the word found my metaphysical shadow of me. I heard it again..."Penis..." My son had just uttered the P-word and it killed me. It made sense that hearing my little ten year old say such a word to me in such a nonchalant way that it would send my soul fleeing my bag of bones.
I was soon greeted by an angel who floated next to me. She asked "What are you doing here? You are not due to arrive for at least 300 more pounds of bacon."
I explained that my son had just said the P-word to me. She was unimpressed and sent me quickly back into my reeling body. Not after she uttered the words "Try harder to act like you deserve a son like him"
When I re-entered I came to and found my autistic son looking at me for a reaction. I knew I was in one of those parent moments. The knowledge of that fact only deepened my terror. My wife has always had a more open relationship with our children when it comes to talking about these kind of things. She was nowhere to be seen and I was the person in charge of giving my son an adult response to what he had just said.
To be fair it's not that the word Penis was something he had never heard before. But it was not something I ever talked about with him now that he was ten. When he was a toddler and he was identifying various body parts I am sure that it came up in conversation. I probably whispered the word "Penis" to him to send him the signal that it was a word that should never be said out loud. Instead I think I began to try the time honored guy tradition of teaching him other things to call it instead. That list consisted of the following words have been approved to be used in replacement:
"Your Private Area"
"The Stuff"
"Your Wee-Wee"
"The you know, um... that thing down there"
"Doodad"
"The Ho-Ho-Nonies"
"The Fonz"
"Mr. Doodlesworth"
"Agent Peepers"
"He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named"
"The Harvery Keitel Experiment"
"It"
"Captain Winkerson and The Frankenberry Twins"
"The U.S.S Naddison"
"Happytown"
"Bathtime Ninja"
"Fish N Chips"
"Neverblink and His Grouchy Rollie Pollies"
Those are just a few of the words that I try to teach him over the years to use instead of the dreaded P-Word." Now that I see them in writing I am tempted to call them creepy. I won't however, because these words had been the paper-thin defense I had for keeping me from getting into questions about where babies came from. I was not the person to ever lead that conversation. It would be awkward. I was maybe going to disclose these mysteries to my children the way my parents did. What they did was genius. I don't think it's a coincidence that once me and my brother reached the delicate age where the questions of sexuality came to the forefront that my dad happened to splurge for extended cable. HBO taught me more about "The Birds and The Bee's" than 50,000 Doctor Ruth's ever could have.
Still he was too young for cable TV.....so I had to handle this situation as close to how Ward Cleaver would. Ward would have just given Wally a wry little wink and sent him off to Eddie Hascals house to learn the rest. Then Ward would stumble into the kitchen and demand that Barbara Billingsley get started on his dinner. Noah did not have a Ward Cleaver for a father. He had a 37-year old guy stammering for the right words.
You learned about what?" I asked in hopes that maybe I had misheard him. Maybe he did not say the word. Maybe it just sounded like that. It was completely plausible that I misheard him. Perhaps he had told me that learned about "A Genius" or about "a guy named Denis" or something.
"The penis dad. You know...THE PENIS. I learned all about it. How it works. What it does"
Sweet levitating baby Jesus no..not that. I don't even know about how it works! My ten year old son with autism knows more about Agent Peepers than I do?? That could not stand!
What was going on here? Why was he learning about that at school? What the hell was happening?? Then my mind cast itself to a paper we had gotten a few weeks ago telling us parents that our children would be watching a film in health class called "Changes In The Road". Apparently it was about the coming storm clouds of puberty that were headed our way. Either I did not put the contents of that letter into my memory banks out of self-defense or because I thought maybe it had been part of a nightmare. It turned out that they learned so much in this "film" that it might as well as been called "Suddenly Itchy". Or "From Tenor to Soprano in 4.2 Months".
I was not ready to have the birds and the bee's talk with him yet and he did not look particularly interested in having it with me. I would have to at least offer him the chance to grill me for information about any of that stuff. I would have to ask it in a way that would not be super inviting. I struggled and came at him with "You learned about that huh? Um...do you have any questions?"
Please say "no." Please say "no." Please say "no."
"No. Can I go play video games?" Noah asked.
I was elated and relieved! Video games?? Sure that was a reasonable request! I would have given him anything to steer clear of the talk. You want me to let your drive? Sure! How about we go to the mall and I buy everything for you! Or...I could somehow make it so Pokemon's really exist and you could keep one of those freaky Japanese critters in our house. Anything....just not "the talk."
And just like that. The moment passed by. That precious moment of teaching and/or bonding breezed by both of us.
Noah scooted around me to go play. I sat down on the coach and welcome the feeling of utter relief that was sure to come because I had just dogged a bullet of awkwardness and emotional discomfort. Then suddenly without any provocation (except probably from the one person still manning my conscience) I started to feel pangs of guilt stab at me wildly.
Why was I so afraid to talk with him about this?
Was it because he was autistic and I was afraid that me trying to explain such abstract concepts would be a total fail on my part? I quickly decided that my reluctance to talk about it with him had nothing to do with him being in the spectrum of ASD. I would be equally uncomfortable talking about this with any of my other children.
Like I mentioned I never really had that kind of talk with my parents. I had the best upbringing ever and I am unsure I will ever be half the parent for my children that my folks were to me...but we never really delved into taboo topics like reproduction. I was on a learn-as-you-go program. I think I was trying to continue that tradition in my own family. Except there is one fatal flaw to that approach. That I was too afraid to ask my parents questions about stuff like that. Probably because if I ever did they would adorn the same looks on their faces that I had when Noah simply mentioned the word penis in front of me.
I want a completely wide open relationship with my children. I don't want there to be something that I am too uncomfortable to talk about with them. I want them to bring all concerns before me regardless of how taboo I have been brought up to think of them. Otherwise I am allowing my baggage to become their baggage...and I can't have that. If for no other reason than because I can't live with anymore guilt for things I do wrong.
So as I sat on that coach I decided that it was time to go and recreate that moment. Puberty is coming soon and he was sure to have some questions and concerns about what was going to happen. Noah was certain to have heard something in that movie that stirred some silent worries....and I hate it when he worries....and he worries a bunch! If I could just stem one worry of his than I would at least be semi-helpful. Normally I would wait for Jenni to get home so we could have this conversation together. But I decided that I needed to "man up" and show Noah that he could talk to me about anything.
I went downstairs and saw him gearing up for some serious Wii action. I sat down next to him and grabbed his arm.
"Hey Buddy. You know that film you watched today?"
"Mmmm hhhhmmm." He answered while staring at the TV screen that towered before us.
"Are you sure you didn't have any questions about anything you heard?" I asked with a heart that was jam-packed with good intentions.
"Well...kind of...." Noah said with his voice again trailing off for what I am sure was to help build dramatic tension.
"What is it? I will answer any question." I stated with absolute certainty. I was going to talk to him about the how our sexuality was a gift from God to be taken seriously. I was going to be explain the weird changes that were coming his way soon. But most of all I was going to tell him simply that I was here for him. No matter what.
"Well...what is sperm?"
The room started spinning. It felt like someone had kicked me in my "Ho-Ho-Nonies".
Sperm.....
Sperm..........
Sssssspeeeerrrrrmmmmmm......
Again I found myself floating over my stammering body.
Jenni would be home soon. That is a good question for her.
I'll just be here floating. In the meantime I hope the rest of my family waits for me to get over myself.
Shocking.
Scandalous.
Salacious.
Startling.
Taboo. Surprising.
&
Unsettling.
The moment I am going to describe to you is going to be one that I am certain I will be forced to relive over and over again in my windowless "reflection room" in purgatory. At my wake when my three boys gather round to share their favorite dad story they will inevitably will come across this gem of a memory I will share. It will be forever known as "The Day Of 1000 Gasps" by my children or perhaps they will dub it as "The Moment We Saw Our Father Soil Himself Right In Front Of Us. Which Caused Us All To Have Intensive Therapy To Help Get Over Our 'Daddy Issues' That He Created With His Inability To Manage His Bladder During Important Moments". I kind of hope they name it the first one, it sounds more dramatic and less judgemental. Either way I will be serving my afterlife time-out so I guess it wouldn't matter much to me...but I am concerned that my wife would rather them not refer to their pops as a fellow who found himself leaky during crisis. In truth I have a feeling that the event I am going to describe for you was one my children did not even notice how much I failed them.So on with what happened...
If you have been reading my blog for a while (by "a while" I mean this one) you have probably garnered the fact that I am not the most together dude who walks the Earth. I am not the guy you turn to in a moment of panic. Like if you were getting mugged I would be the worst person to try in and intercede on your behalf. Not because I wouldn't want to, because I would. I really would. It's just that I would freak out because when I get any adrenaline in my system I am a trainwreck. In my preparations to take on your assailant I would probably need to run home and grab my Ipod so I could have some inspirational music to listen to while I was stretching. Before you ask, yes I need to stretch before getting into a fight with your mugger. Don't get all self-righteous I am not naturally limber. It is the curse of being built like R2-D2. I would need to loosen the joints before throwing fists with your attacker. Which would make me really nervous so I would need a glass of wine to calm my nerves. Just enough to help slow things down a bit...but not too much that it would impede my ability to introduce my two fists (which I have long ago named them. The right fist is named "Cagney" and the left one is named "Lacey". They are two crime-stopping bundles of knuckles who would take their enemies on with determination, a lady-mullet, and the force of a misunderstood female detective just trying to make it in a man's world) to the person mugging you.
I am guessing by the time I was ready to take on the person who was ganking you it would probably be too late and somehow you would be holding me to blame for what happened. We would try to remain friends after this event, but you would eventually call me out in front of a group of our shared friends that I was "a coward" and I would retort with the comeback "Hey don't blame me you dirty Jackwagon! Even Clubber Lang needed to stretch before taking the belt from Balboa in Rocky 3." And then you would say "You are a wuss and are only concerned about yourself." And then I would say "Oh yeah? Don't make me unleash a thunderstorm of Cagney and Lacey on your ass!" And then everyone (including you) would laugh me out of the room. And that would be the last you would see me at our Poetry Slam meetings.
Anyways, you can be assured that when it comes to moments where either decisive action or the perfect words are required I am not well equipped. If I lived on the Island Of Idiots I would be the mayor of them all. If one of my idiot citizens did not know the proper idiot reaction they needed to have to help maintain their residency on our island they would come to me to learn how to better their skills.
Part of the problem with parenting is that you never know when those moments where you need to step up and make good decisions are coming. Those moments never make appointments in your calender. They just show up like the guy selling magazines who needs you to buy $400 worth so he can finally go to college. Those moments where much is required of parents randomly arrive with a rose in one hand and a machete in the other. They are those moments that can help make or break you with your children.
I had one the other day. I did not rise to meet it well. While I don't think my son caught on to the fact that I was disarmed by what was happening, I am certain I let one of those rare "teaching moments" slip by like a leaf in a stream. I let my own crap interfere with what I should have said. Instead I continued the circle of crap that I probably learned at their age from my folks who I am certain would have handled the situation the exact same way.
By now you probably just want to know what in the name of the dead animal on Trumps head happened?
Well...it began with...The P word. Yep. That's right. I don't know where it came from. I was not prepared for it to be uttered. I was minding my own business opening up the door to let my children into the house after I picked them up from school. Everything was going so well. The sun was shining down on us in a manner that suggested it had 'Super-Nova'd just for us a few billion years ago. There was no Wyoming wind blasting us in the face as we walked up to our house. I was simply just thinking about how awesome it was to be a father of such three innocent and peaceful little children. Three children who want nothing other than their father to remain in the constant state of balance and harmony that his weakened constitution requires. I had just cracked open the door to our townhome when I asked my boys how their day being a functional member of the education system went.
I was expecting to hear about spelling bee's, rumpus games of tag, milk coming out of the nose incidents in the lunchroom, and other such slices of my childrens day that I could digest in my fathery soul. Maybe I would get some good gradeschool gossip and hear about someone who was sent to the principals office or an account about how one of their classmates puked it out in front of the class. Those stories always warmed my heart. Mostly because it was always usually about someone else's child. And when anyone else's child was the source of controversy I thought of it as comforting.
I loved it when my children recounted the events of the day. It helped me feel connected to their experience. What I heard come out of my ten years mouth though has changed my desire to be included on "what haps" at Sunrise Elementary.
I simply asked Noah as my door opened to our home "So what did you learn about today Noah?"
"Oh nothing" he said quickly. That was his typical answer and I knew better than to let him off of the hook. As a wise father of a child living with autism I have been trained that it takes a few times digging with a question before you can get to the top soil of truth.
"Come on. I am sure you learned something."
"Well...I did learn about one thing..." His voice trailed off. I was sure he was going to finish that sentence with something like "Volcano's" "George Washington" or maybe even "The Louisiana Purchase". Instead I was giving a slap in the face with a glove that had been stuffed with barbed-wire and a brick.
"I learned about the Penis." He said with an outrageously disinterested tone of voice.
The word deeply echoed in my ears....
Penis.....
Penis.........
The........Penis.....
P......enis.............
Penis....s......s.....sssssssss
This was one of those moments that called for a father of decisive action who could choose the right words....
The next thing I knew I was seperated from my body. I was floating about ten feet above looking down on my body which was gripping the door to keep from collapsing onto the ground. As my soul hovered above it looked like time was moving in slow motion. I could see the look of abject horror plastered across my face. It looked like I had been just been shot by a sniper. It was the kind of look a person has when they are trying to decide to just let their heart explode like the death star and take their karmic chances in the next world.
Floating there it took me a moment to remember what was causing me to have an out of body experience. Then slowly the word found my metaphysical shadow of me. I heard it again..."Penis..." My son had just uttered the P-word and it killed me. It made sense that hearing my little ten year old say such a word to me in such a nonchalant way that it would send my soul fleeing my bag of bones.
I was soon greeted by an angel who floated next to me. She asked "What are you doing here? You are not due to arrive for at least 300 more pounds of bacon."
I explained that my son had just said the P-word to me. She was unimpressed and sent me quickly back into my reeling body. Not after she uttered the words "Try harder to act like you deserve a son like him"
When I re-entered I came to and found my autistic son looking at me for a reaction. I knew I was in one of those parent moments. The knowledge of that fact only deepened my terror. My wife has always had a more open relationship with our children when it comes to talking about these kind of things. She was nowhere to be seen and I was the person in charge of giving my son an adult response to what he had just said.
To be fair it's not that the word Penis was something he had never heard before. But it was not something I ever talked about with him now that he was ten. When he was a toddler and he was identifying various body parts I am sure that it came up in conversation. I probably whispered the word "Penis" to him to send him the signal that it was a word that should never be said out loud. Instead I think I began to try the time honored guy tradition of teaching him other things to call it instead. That list consisted of the following words have been approved to be used in replacement:
"Your Private Area"
"The Stuff"
"Your Wee-Wee"
"The you know, um... that thing down there"
"Doodad"
"The Ho-Ho-Nonies"
"The Fonz"
"Mr. Doodlesworth"
"Agent Peepers"
"He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named"
"The Harvery Keitel Experiment"
"It"
"Captain Winkerson and The Frankenberry Twins"
"The U.S.S Naddison"
"Happytown"
"Bathtime Ninja"
"Fish N Chips"
"Neverblink and His Grouchy Rollie Pollies"
Those are just a few of the words that I try to teach him over the years to use instead of the dreaded P-Word." Now that I see them in writing I am tempted to call them creepy. I won't however, because these words had been the paper-thin defense I had for keeping me from getting into questions about where babies came from. I was not the person to ever lead that conversation. It would be awkward. I was maybe going to disclose these mysteries to my children the way my parents did. What they did was genius. I don't think it's a coincidence that once me and my brother reached the delicate age where the questions of sexuality came to the forefront that my dad happened to splurge for extended cable. HBO taught me more about "The Birds and The Bee's" than 50,000 Doctor Ruth's ever could have.
Still he was too young for cable TV.....so I had to handle this situation as close to how Ward Cleaver would. Ward would have just given Wally a wry little wink and sent him off to Eddie Hascals house to learn the rest. Then Ward would stumble into the kitchen and demand that Barbara Billingsley get started on his dinner. Noah did not have a Ward Cleaver for a father. He had a 37-year old guy stammering for the right words.
You learned about what?" I asked in hopes that maybe I had misheard him. Maybe he did not say the word. Maybe it just sounded like that. It was completely plausible that I misheard him. Perhaps he had told me that learned about "A Genius" or about "a guy named Denis" or something.
"The penis dad. You know...THE PENIS. I learned all about it. How it works. What it does"
Sweet levitating baby Jesus no..not that. I don't even know about how it works! My ten year old son with autism knows more about Agent Peepers than I do?? That could not stand!
What was going on here? Why was he learning about that at school? What the hell was happening?? Then my mind cast itself to a paper we had gotten a few weeks ago telling us parents that our children would be watching a film in health class called "Changes In The Road". Apparently it was about the coming storm clouds of puberty that were headed our way. Either I did not put the contents of that letter into my memory banks out of self-defense or because I thought maybe it had been part of a nightmare. It turned out that they learned so much in this "film" that it might as well as been called "Suddenly Itchy". Or "From Tenor to Soprano in 4.2 Months".
I was not ready to have the birds and the bee's talk with him yet and he did not look particularly interested in having it with me. I would have to at least offer him the chance to grill me for information about any of that stuff. I would have to ask it in a way that would not be super inviting. I struggled and came at him with "You learned about that huh? Um...do you have any questions?"
Please say "no." Please say "no." Please say "no."
"No. Can I go play video games?" Noah asked.
I was elated and relieved! Video games?? Sure that was a reasonable request! I would have given him anything to steer clear of the talk. You want me to let your drive? Sure! How about we go to the mall and I buy everything for you! Or...I could somehow make it so Pokemon's really exist and you could keep one of those freaky Japanese critters in our house. Anything....just not "the talk."
And just like that. The moment passed by. That precious moment of teaching and/or bonding breezed by both of us.
Noah scooted around me to go play. I sat down on the coach and welcome the feeling of utter relief that was sure to come because I had just dogged a bullet of awkwardness and emotional discomfort. Then suddenly without any provocation (except probably from the one person still manning my conscience) I started to feel pangs of guilt stab at me wildly.
Why was I so afraid to talk with him about this?
Was it because he was autistic and I was afraid that me trying to explain such abstract concepts would be a total fail on my part? I quickly decided that my reluctance to talk about it with him had nothing to do with him being in the spectrum of ASD. I would be equally uncomfortable talking about this with any of my other children.
Like I mentioned I never really had that kind of talk with my parents. I had the best upbringing ever and I am unsure I will ever be half the parent for my children that my folks were to me...but we never really delved into taboo topics like reproduction. I was on a learn-as-you-go program. I think I was trying to continue that tradition in my own family. Except there is one fatal flaw to that approach. That I was too afraid to ask my parents questions about stuff like that. Probably because if I ever did they would adorn the same looks on their faces that I had when Noah simply mentioned the word penis in front of me.
I want a completely wide open relationship with my children. I don't want there to be something that I am too uncomfortable to talk about with them. I want them to bring all concerns before me regardless of how taboo I have been brought up to think of them. Otherwise I am allowing my baggage to become their baggage...and I can't have that. If for no other reason than because I can't live with anymore guilt for things I do wrong.
So as I sat on that coach I decided that it was time to go and recreate that moment. Puberty is coming soon and he was sure to have some questions and concerns about what was going to happen. Noah was certain to have heard something in that movie that stirred some silent worries....and I hate it when he worries....and he worries a bunch! If I could just stem one worry of his than I would at least be semi-helpful. Normally I would wait for Jenni to get home so we could have this conversation together. But I decided that I needed to "man up" and show Noah that he could talk to me about anything.
I went downstairs and saw him gearing up for some serious Wii action. I sat down next to him and grabbed his arm.
"Hey Buddy. You know that film you watched today?"
"Mmmm hhhhmmm." He answered while staring at the TV screen that towered before us.
"Are you sure you didn't have any questions about anything you heard?" I asked with a heart that was jam-packed with good intentions.
"Well...kind of...." Noah said with his voice again trailing off for what I am sure was to help build dramatic tension.
"What is it? I will answer any question." I stated with absolute certainty. I was going to talk to him about the how our sexuality was a gift from God to be taken seriously. I was going to be explain the weird changes that were coming his way soon. But most of all I was going to tell him simply that I was here for him. No matter what.
"Well...what is sperm?"
The room started spinning. It felt like someone had kicked me in my "Ho-Ho-Nonies".
Sperm.....
Sperm..........
Sssssspeeeerrrrrmmmmmm......
Again I found myself floating over my stammering body.
Jenni would be home soon. That is a good question for her.
I'll just be here floating. In the meantime I hope the rest of my family waits for me to get over myself.
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